Tiny Steps, Big Impact: The Trust-Building Power of Selective Vulnerability
Trust is the foundation of the most efficient, productive, and fulfilling relationships. When you're working with people you trust, everything flows more smoothly. Tasks are completed faster, conversations are more direct, and communication becomes easier—you don’t have to over-explain or defend your position. A simple, honest exchange is often enough.
But trust looks different to everyone. How do you know if you have a trusted network of advisors? You likely do if you have people who:
Offer honest feedback—both constructive and complimentary
Give you the benefit of the doubt when you make a mistake
Are willing to help when you ask (and you feel comfortable asking)
Share critical information about organizational changes
Are open to your ideas and suggestions
So, how do you gain the benefits of a high-trust network?
As we all know, trust doesn’t build overnight. It grows through repeated, meaningful interactions over time. One of the most effective strategies I’ve seen—both in my own life and in the lives of my clients—is this: small actions lead to big results.
Specifically, trust is built through tiny moments of selective vulnerability, such as:
Ask for help or feedback
Share something personal—your values, outside interests, or perspective
Sincerely apologize and take ownership when you make a mistake
It is essential to understand what selective vulnerability is not. It’s not oversharing to get attention or using vulnerability to meet unmet emotional needs. It’s not dramatic displays meant to shock. Selective vulnerability is intentional. It’s about creating a connection without compromising your reputation or professionalism.
As someone who grew up as a perfectionist and a competitive athlete, I once viewed vulnerability as a weakness. But my mindset shifted dramatically through my coaching work and the powerful teachings of Dr. Brené Brown, research professor and author of Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead.
Most of the women I coach initially resist the idea of vulnerability. Take my client Sabrina, for example. A high-performing trader, Sabrina often made a point to make eye contact with the president of her division as he walked by her desk, but she never said a word. Despite her impressive track record, she was not well-known to leadership.
Her first step? A simple smile and a "hello." That small act of openness led to bigger ones: speaking up in team meetings, requesting to join larger department gatherings, and eventually having a direct conversation about how to get promoted to Managing Director.
She later told me, “The president said he would never promote someone he didn’t know or feel comfortable with.” That moment shifted everything for her. Sabrina began intentionally expanding her network, opening up gradually and positioning herself for visibility and recognition. Today, she’s a Managing Director.
Here’s my challenge to you for the month of May:
Take one small, intentional step toward connection.
Share something about yourself.
Ask for help.
Be curious about someone in your network.
Just play with it—you might be surprised by what grows from those tiny moments.