Embracing the Flow: The Transformative Power of the International Coaching Federation (ICF)Conference
I was excited to attend my first major conference since the pandemic! It was a thrilling prospect, made even more compelling by the fact that I would be speaking during a challenging time slot—5:30 p.m. on a Friday evening.
My overall goal was clear: soak up as much knowledge as possible, expand my network, and be the perfect attendee by diligently taking notes in every session. Yet, lurking beneath all this fervor was a gnawing fear – the fear that only an audience of only two might attend my session.
As I perused the list of presenters, a common theme emerged – a focus on curiosity, innovation, and the transformative power of data and technology in coaching. These themes aligned with my topic: "From Perfectionist to Experimenter: Adapt with Speed and Grace." Perhaps a handful of attendees might postpone their cocktail hour or poolside lounging (after all, this was sunny Orlando) to join my session.
My conference agenda was meticulously planned, alternating between sessions that would challenge me and those that would provide practical insights, such as learning about the latest ICF exam or exploring how AI could elevate my coaching skills.
As the saying goes, first impressions are lasting, and I opted to join a morning learning circle that convened at the early hour of 7:30 a.m. This diverse group, led by an executive coach from Canada, included individuals from various corners of the globe – Americans from far and wide, a German representative, and several dynamic women from Nigeria. While this circle was optional, I soon realized how invaluable it was. It offered diverse perspectives and illuminated the myriad insights shared across the conference's countless sessions, which numbered three or four in every time slot.
The grand kickoff featured Diana Kander's keynote address, "Unleash Your Curiosity." Her presentation was thought-provoking, entertaining, and brimming with practical takeaways, everything one could hope for.
What struck me most was the warmth and diversity of the audience. Being there alone, I found myself effortlessly bonding with people from Singapore, South America, and other corners of the world—within an hour. The conference's inclusivity and the attendees' openness left me feeling welcomed.
Over the next two days, I immersed myself in nine sessions, attended two cocktail hours, and even indulged in some dancing. However, it was two sessions that truly challenged my perspective.
The first was a workshop titled "Feeling Seen: Using Photography in Coaching on Self-Image," led by the remarkable Dasha Dare, who is both a photographer and a coach. Her exploration of self-image, backed by extensive research, was eye-opening.
Who would think that changing and altering your appearance through plastic surgery might not alter your self-image? Dasha engaged us in a thought-provoking exercise – we took photographs of ourselves before and after a conversation about our desired future selves. The results were astonishing. My partner and I appeared more relaxed, sporting warmer and gentler smiles in our post-conversation photos.
This experience served as a powerful reminder of the significance of body language, sparking ideas to incorporate pre-and-post photos into my coaching and training work.
The second session that reshaped my thinking was "AI in Service of Growing Coaching Skills: The Role of AI in Analysis, Self-Reflection, Supervision, and Progress," led by Alex Haitoglou. This session unveiled the potential of recording coaching sessions more frequently, facilitated by AI, to accelerate skill development. What left a lasting impression was Alex’s courage in sharing his own coaching session data – initially filled with embarrassing moments. Thanks to his recorded sessions, his evolution from a talkative coach to a listening one convinced me to embrace this AI technology.
Afterward, I took a moment to recharge and prepare for my own presentation, scheduled for the second day. Reflecting on the day's experiences, I realized that the more authentic and vulnerable I could be, the greater the chance that any audience, regardless of size, would be compelled to postpone that cocktail hour to attend my session.
As I arrived at the presentation room, anxiety began to creep in despite the frigid blast of Florida's air conditioning. The room was only 25% filled, and I feared the worst – what if those people left and my session drew just a handful of attendees? To ease my nerves, I envisioned a scenario where I'd humorously cajole the audience into joining me for an intimate conversation, assuming everyone else was off enjoying the pool or cocktails. Surprisingly, as the session commenced, very few departed, and more people streamed in. The room had around 200-300 attendees – an unexpected turn of events I had never anticipated.
With relief, I started with my original joke, garnering a hearty laugh. I gradually relaxed and left the stage, engaging the audience in a lively conversation, sharing my journey from perfectionism to “perfectionist in recovery.” The session flowed effortlessly, marked by laughter, spirited discussions, and boundless energy from both myself and the attendees. I felt truly myself, in the moment, in the flow. After the session concluded, many attendees approached me to thank me for the session. Yet, one remark struck me in particular – one participant declared it the most enjoyable session they had attended during the conference. I was left wondering: What had just happened? While humor had always been part of my repertoire, being labeled a comedian was not a title I'd ever expected.
Upon reflection, I realized that the diverse array of people at the conference had a profound impact on my ability to relax. As a recovering perfectionist, I often grappled with feelings of being "different" or not measuring up. However, the diverse tapestry of attendees and their myriad perspectives underscored that everyone possessed a unique viewpoint. Through the multitude of sessions I attended, I came to appreciate that this audience was receptive to learning and that the speakers who stood out were those who displayed vulnerability and authenticity. It seemed as though this environment had ushered me into a state of flow, a concept elucidated by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the author of "Flow."
Csikszentmihalyi's research unveiled the phenomenon where individuals experience genuine satisfaction during a state of consciousness known as "Flow." In this optimal state, they feel strong, alert, effortlessly in control, unselfconscious, and at the peak of their abilities.
Exiting the conference, I felt profound gratitude to the ICF for fostering an environment that encouraged the flow state in so many of us. This is the magic that can happen from meeting in person and being surrounded by people who are all striving to grow and learn.
I can’t wait to embark on another journey of self-discovery, surrounded by the inspiring diversity and openness that has forever altered my perspective.